Majorca Café, Fenwick's, Newcastle-upon-Tyne, UK...

Inside the Majorca restaurant in Fenwick's Newcastle

Newcastle-upon-Tyne is an interesting place and I've always loved it. When it comes to caffs and teashops, there's plenty to choose from, but one of the best places I've experienced is the in-store caff at Fenwick's. You can't beat a decent in-store caff and the one in Fenwick's, Newcastle, is fantastic. And there's plenty of choice as there are effectively three restaurants next door to one another, the first a kind of coffee shop, then the Majorca café and then Tivoli – they go up in quality from the coffee shop to the cafe to the restaurant and I'm guessing they're all good.

I visited the Majorca café with two companions. There's a servery, cafeteria style, so you'll need to remember your tray. My dad once told me a good joke about cafeterias and it went something like this: "I took my mother-in-law to a really posh restaurant and she let me down – she dropped her tray." I know.

Anyway, back to the Majorca café. It might have been spelt 'Mallorca', can't remember, but either way it was top dollar. The servery starts off with cakes and then there's a hot servery selling excellent meals, like mince with dumplings or a gammon joint and an array of vegetables, such as carrots, green beans and cabbage. Seriously, this is what a caff is all about and I found myself at the Majorca on two occasions: day one I had the mince with dumplings and day two the gammon. This is what you might call 'wholesome food', comfort food, all that was missing was a decent apple pie and custard. There was another occasion when I went back for a scone and tea.

Mince, dumplings and vegetables – amazing food!

Question: why can't all restaurants be like this? A day or two earlier I went to Jamie's Italian (yes, there's one in Newcastle). Well, first, he's not Italian and my advice to anybody considering an Italian meal is simple: go to an Italian restaurant, they're miles better, believe me.

Gammon and vegetables – also amazing!!!

What the UK needs is less of the Jamie's Italians – as I said, he's not Italian and nor is the food, go to an Italian trattoria instead – and more of the Majorca restaurant in Fenwick's, which offers good, solid, enjoyable, tasty, filling food that is unmistakably British. I loved this place so much and if ever I find myself in Newcastle again, I'll be going there for sure.

The bill for three on both occasions was something like £28, so under £30 for a decent, wholesome meal. My companions ordered broccoli soup with bread. All amazing!!!

Pop Inn Café, Redhill, Surrey

The Pop Inn Café – perfect in every way!

I won't beat around the bush: I've passed this café on many occasions, but I haven't crossed the threshold for two reasons. First, it's always packed, and second there's a 'fast food' air about the place. The tables and chairs, for example, are secured to the floor, which, in my book, means that the clientele are inclined towards stealing the furniture – or the restaurant simply doesn't trust its customers. Who knows and who cares?

Last week, on a short walk – known by myself and the international man of mystery as the 'caff combo' – I passed the Pop Inn Café, noticed it was empty, which might have been because it was market day, and decided to give it try. Inside I found that I was one of eight customers.

I thought the format was the usual 'caff affair': you order your food at the counter and pay up front and then take a seat and wait to be served. It's the same deal in the M&S café, Café Piazza and the recently opened Sainsbury's Café. But I was mistaken. While you can simply walk to the counter and order your food, the Pop Inn offers table service, giving the place an out-of-character air of superiority as customers can peruse the extensive menu and then exclaim, "Garcon!" and await the scuttling waiter or waitress who will then take their order. While the menu is displayed over the counter in true fast food restaurant style, it's even possible to choose your food without picking up the menu.

I perused the extensive menu and opted for home-made chicken curry and a mug of tea – the whole lot set me back just £6.50. The mug of tea was £1, arguably the cheapest in Redhill (unless anybody knows better). Sainsbury's charges £1.20 (the mug is much larger) if my memory serves me right.

Anyway, I took a seat and awaited the meal. I must say that I was impressed with the menu selection; there was everything under the sun: breakfasts, set breakfasts, sandwiches, roast meals, paninis, jacket potatoes, burgers, grills and lunches, omelettes, pies, kids' meals, salads and rice dishes. My chicken curry was categorised as a rice dish – understandably so as it was served with rice.

Apple pie and custard and a mug of tea!

There was also some notable dishes, like the Belly Buster Special Breakfast (basically a lot of food) for £9.90. A sirloin steak costs the same. And let's not forget shepherd's pie, chips and peas (£6.50). I must also point out the selection of 'sides' – meaning I could have ordered a shepherd's pie with a side of mashed potato, which would be akin to simply ordering two shepherd's pies, or it might be if there was also a side order of minced lamb. But enough of the jokes.

While the tables and chairs were screwed to the floor, the chair was comfortable and padded (not the usual hard, loudly coloured plastic shell seat (like the ones in nearby Merstham's Quality Café).

When my food arrived I was over the moon. The quality (and quantity) were well beyond my expectations. First, the portion size (I got as much curry as rice) but then the quality was good too – it was all perfect! And let's not forget the word 'home-made'. In a nutshell, it was a great curry, so great that I got carried away and, after finishing every last bit I perused the menu and found desserts. For me, the mark of a good caff is the dessert menu and the Pop Inn Café didn't disappoint. It offered what should be a caff staple: apple pie with custard (£2.80); so I ordered it and another mug of tea and enjoyed the experience.

Those chairs are padded and comfortable.

Overall, I'd say this: never judge a book by it's cover. While the Pop Inn Café does have that 'fast food' air about it and the furniture is screwed to the floor, the reality is an amazing restaurant offering decent food at very reasonable prices. You can bet one thing: I'll be back, along with the international man of mystery. This place is a serious rival to other Redhill establishments. It's only drawback is its location: outside of town on the A23, so it takes around 10 minutes on foot from the centre of the town, but don't let that bother you and make sure you're not tempted to visit The Garland (a Harveys of Lewes pub) as you'll get better value in the caff and you won't have to worry about drink-driving (the caff ain't licenced).

Lastly, the Pop Inn Café is open for breakfast, lunch and dinner and offers a takeaway service.

Top tips for what to choose: outside of the above-mentioned chicken curry, I've been bowled over by other dishes, notably the jacket potato and chilli and, most recently (and arguably the best value for money) the chicken fillet sandwich, which, at just £3.30 is truly amazing. Have it with nothing added (no salad, no sauce) and go for the baguette (not the roll or bread options) and you will be in seventh heaven, literally. It's so tasty.

It's worth pointing out that: the chilli is also home-made and is seriously tasty.

Also good is the Spanish omelette and, if you're in the mood, the shepherds pie with chips and gravy.

Steer clear of: the pies, they're not that good.