Westerham Cyclery – caff and cycle repair shop combined!

[Originally published May 2015 on NoVisibleLycra]: For the first time this year we rode to Westerham in Kent, just Andy and I. It was a case of heads down and get there and we got there with the intention of taking breakfast at the Tudor Rose tearoom (Andy's treat – thanks, Andy).

When we reached the green after a pleasant ride, I noticed that Andy was looking for something and soon realised that he wanted to see the cycle shop and café combined that I had brought to his attention recently. Avid readers might recall that, a year or two ago as Andy and I sipped tea and munched cereal bars on Westerham's green we often fantasised about taking on the lease of an old Barclays Bank and transforming it into a cyclists' coffee shop, jam-packed with biscuits and cakes and offering a repair service too. But, of course, we were never serious about it and, as Andy said yesterday as we trudged morosely across the grass towards the roadside, our version of the Westerham Cyclery's caff and repair shop would have been half-hearted and certainly not as swish. I take the latter point about it not being as swish, perhaps, but would it have been half-hearted?

Amazing cake and cappuccino that's better than Costa.

I've already critiqued the place in a previous post, claiming it was too 'boutiquey' in its appearance, but that was based on standing outside and then having just a brief wander into the building before heading straight to the Tudor Rose – much more my cup of tea and, dare I say it, more in tune with what my version of a bike repair shop and caff would have looked like. But now, having experienced the Westerham Cyclery caff first hand, my opinion has changed. Let's face it, the guy in charge knows what he's doing and he's done a fantastic job. Yes, it is a bit 'boutiquey'. There are wooden floors and leather sofas and flatscreen televisions showing cycling on Eurosport, there are copies of Bradley Wiggins' autobiography, a few perfect-bound cycling magazines here and there, a range of energy snacks for Lycra monkeys concerned about 'precious grams' and putting in a good time and some signed Tour de France cycling shirts in frames on the wall. In other words, the place screams Lycra monkeys and so does the clientele – no ragged trousered mountain bike riders here... until now.

In fact, we did feel a little out of place what with me, unshaven and unkempt-looking in my tatty old Tesco ASBO specials and trainers, my right leg tucked into a grey sock. Andy, as it happened, looked relatively respectable as, unlike me, he'd taken the trouble to shave. It was as if two cast members from a Spaghetti western had bowled up to a posh restaurant with no intention of dressing for dinner. And we were early by about five minutes and were ready, had he not allowed us in, to make our way diagonally across the green to the Tudor Rose for a full English. But he opened early just for us, unlocking some wooden doors to the left of the caff proper to reveal parking racks for bikes and some comfortable outdoor seating at the back – this place covered all bases. There was a bike showroom upstairs, a bike accessories area to the right of the serving counter and, in addition to the energy bars, a selection of three tasty-looking cakes.

Andy ordered a cappuccino, I ordered tea and we both opted for coffee and walnut cake. It was all good. In fact, we both thought the cake was out of this world – very tasty. The cappuccino – which Andy said was better than Costa – had a chocolate bike stencilled into the froth (a nice touch) and, well, all-in-all, this was the perfect place for cyclists – especially Lycra monkeys. There was even a cycling club that operated out of the café and some of its members arrived as we enjoyed our cake, tea and coffee. Unlike us they were clean-shaven and clean generally: no Tesco ASBO specials just Lycra monkey gear, fresh complexions and perfectly combed hair. In comparison, we looked like a couple of vagabonds with bikes to match. We were, after all, from the other side of the tracks and let ourselves down by mentioning the C-word (Croydon). We should have said Caterham and Sanderstead, perhaps.

After paying £8 for two pieces of cake, a cup of tea and a cappuccino (extortionate, yes, but it's the going rate these days) we strode across the green towards the roadside and our ride home.

Good Life actor to open Black Isle café

Penelope Keith, of Good Life and To the Manor Born fame, has finally got the go-ahead to open a teashop in the village of Avoch on the Black Isle in the Scottish Highlands. Click here for more information.

Penelope Keith – opening a caff in Avoch.

Hunger's End, 26 High Street, Merstham, Surrey

From the top: man outside the caff shaving; my sausage sandwich; my brother Jon's Full English breakfast; Hunger's End, Merstham High Street. You can see my brother Jon (far right) and Andy Smith sitting down and, centre stage, the shaving man – note his radio on the table.

Now this really is a good caff and it doesn't have much in the way of competition either. Well, alright, there's the Quality Café down by the railway station but, to be quite honest, I wasn't happy with that word 'quality' as the caff looked a bit run-down to me.

Hunger's End has a bit of style. For a start, it's more than just pine wood tables and chairs; it has a couple of sofas, a few copies of The Sun scattered about and the staff are friendly too. You order your food at the counter and pay for it (I chose a sausage sandwich with a roll, not bread) and so did my pal Andy. My brother Jon went for one of the breakfasts, not the biggest one, but judging by the size of it (massive springs to mind) I daren't think what the largest looks like.

For a sausage bap and a mug of tea you're talking £3.55, the breakfast with a mug of tea was £4 on the nose. Not bad for a small caff only a stone's throw from the M25. The food is delivered to your table along with brown and tomato sauce, salt and pepper. The food was very, very tasty and we also had some strange bloke outside with us providing some light entertainment: he'd brought along a small radio, a mirror and an electric razor and spent the entire time we were there shaving. It takes all sorts.

Return visits will definitely be made as Hunger's End was the epitome of a great British caff, although the sausage sandwich might be a little over-the-top if consumed more than once or twice a year.

You can read more about Hunger's End on http://novisiblelycra.blogspot.com

Central Perk? In Manchester? It's true!

Top shot shows the interior of Manchester's Central Perk. Shot above is my breakfast. Those sausages might look alright, but they were rubbish, and that tea cup could have held a little more tea.

Here is teashopandcaff doing the closest it can, under the circumstances, to a live broadcast. Okay, it could be a little bit more live if we were on-line and writing direct on to the blog, but there’s no WiFi so sitting in the caff, this one being Central Perk in Manchester, writing on a laptop, is the closest we’re going to get on this occasion.

I was attracted by the name, of course; my daughter is an avid fan of Friends so when I passed the sign on the window, I had to take a peek inside. Where, I wondered, was the juice bar operation that used to occupy this site? Apparently, it left some time ago and then somebody else came along and now it’s a young couple running the place. Out front handling the till is Sarah and the chef – her other half – is behind the scenes making the food.

Central Perk is one of those schizoid places that doesn’t quite add up: is it a trendy coffee bar, as its name suggests, or is it a ‘caff’ as the illuminated menu behind the counter indicates? Who knows and, quite frankly, who cares? All I cared about was something to eat and at 11.30am in the morning I was told that breakfast was still an option.

I had noticed the credit card sign on the door but sadly the card reader wasn’t working so I would have to walk to the nearest cashpoint, down the road at the Co-op, draw out £20 and pay with cash. Not a problem.

I ordered the Full Monty, a full English breakfast consisting of two slices of toast, two sub-standard (in my opinion) sausages, two fried eggs, two rashers of bacon, a grilled tomato, baked beans and mushrooms (£6). It came with a cup of tea too.

The sausages let the meal down and I was not alone in thinking this; Sarah said that the chef had tried them and found them wanting. She offered me two higher spec products but I had already eaten one of the original sausages and half of the other one. Four sausages would have been greedy. I did order another tea and was given it on the house because of those awful sausages. Fair play, I thought.

I got chatting with Sarah, as you do when you’re up north; people talk, and it turns out she has two young kids, one at nursery, the other just starting school this week. Her other half is the chef by trade and they both used to run a bar in the Algarve. Nice work. Anyway, it’s a harder slog than you think, running a caff like this one, but they both intend to persevere. They have an excellent location, on the road leading up to Manchester’s Piccadilly station. I like this place, but I wish I hadn’t ordered that full English breakfast – it was too much when a bagel would have been sufficient.

Central Perk Manchester is nice caff but it needs to sort out better suppliers in my opinion. If I was running this place, I’d source my sausages from a decent butcher, possibly even offer customers a choice of different varieties, speciality sausages even, but I wouldn’t go for the typical ‘caff’ sausage that you see quite often in British caffs.

Coming out of Central Perk and heading up towards the station, I noticed that next door there was a very similar sort of caff. This got me thinking. If Central Perk is going to make any serious money it can’t afford to have a similar style of operation next door, it needs to differentiate itself. I would get rid of the illuminated menu behind the counter and replace it with a blackboard and produce a smaller menu based on locally sourced ingredients. By all means offer hearty breakfasts, but go for decent ingredients, limit the menu and go for quality. That would give the place a USP (Unique Selling Point) and hopefully make some money for Sarah and her family.

 

Café Macchiato, Elland, West Yorkshire

Whether there is any connection between the town of Elland (in West Yorkshire near Huddersfield) and the famous Elland Road (home of Leeds FC) I have no idea, but I do know that Café Macchiato can be found in Elland and very nice it is too.

To be honest, it's not your traditional teashop and caff. It has an Italian flavour to it, which is evident in the name (Café Macchiato) but also in the food on offer, like Bruschetta Macchiato (£3.10) which consists of diced tomato, red onion, garlic, basil and olive oil. Also on offer is a range of cold sandwiches. Paninis range in price from £2.75 to £3.00 and there are specials like meat balls and cheese panini (£3.10).

But don't be fooled into thinking you're in some kind of trendy 'eaterie'. You're not! Café Macchiato has true 'caff' credentials thanks to a breakfast menu available between 9am and 11am. Bacon, sausage, eggs, beans and toast costs a reasonable £3.95. Where's the teashop element of this amazing caff, I hear you ask. Let me tell you that there are some amazing home-made cakes on offer – even some home-made Millionaire's Shortbread (a caramel slice in caff speak). And talking of 'slices', a lemon slice is £1.20, a caramel slice is £1.30, carrot cake is also £1.30 and muffins cost 95p.

As the comedian Jimmy Cricket said, "There's more." Scones with home-made jam are just £1.30 or £1.45 with added cream and let's not forget chocolate and beetroot cake at £2.30. Apparently it's like carrot cake but with chocolate and (ahem) beetroot.

The staff are friendly too and it is very much a family affair. During my visit it was mother and daughter on duty.

Elland is about 20 minutes by bus out of central Huddersfield.